| A double-dip Thanksgiving treat | 11.25.09 at 9:00 am ET |
For most of us, it’s the last day of the work week. The most annoying bosses will try to squeeze five days of work into a three-day window. These are the same people who will walk by your desk at 5:25 p.m. and say something like, “You know what, guys? I’m going to cut you early today. Happy Thanksgiving.” The rest of us will be granted our early dismissals closer to noon. If you’re like me, you’ll start openly complaining about traffic on the Mass Pike at around 9:01 a.m. Good luck to all of you in your quest to hit the road early.

Don't be a swine flu worry-wart. (AP)
As far as the blog goes, you’ll get an extra long, two-for-one today. I’ll start with an abridged version of the NFL picks column and finish it with a Best of the Week. Enjoy.
Last week’s record: 8-8
Overall record: 76-82-2
Home teams are in caps.
Green Bay (+11) over DETROIT
Question of the Game: Aren’t the Lions awful on Thanksgiving?
Yup. They’ve lost their last five Thanksgiving games by a combined 117 points. Their average margin of defeat in that span is 23.4 points. They haven’t lost by fewer than 11 points since 2003.
Oakland (-14) over DALLAS
Question: What’s the deal with the Cowboys on Thanksgiving?
They’re actually pretty good. They’ve won their last three games by a combined 84 points. Apparently, every Thanksgiving game is a blowout. Who knew? On the other hand, Oakland is 1-0 with Bruce Gradkowski as its starter. Somewhere, JaMarcus Russell is stuffing his face with “Moosetracks” ice cream.
Giants (-6.5) over DENVER
Question: Why did Denver coach Josh McDaniels start Chris Simms over Kyle Orton against the Chargers last week?
I don’t know. I didn’t get that. Granted, Orton had an injured ankle, but if McDaniels was worried about him aggravating the injury, he should have sat him for the entire game. Instead, McDaniels gave Simms his first start in four seasons. He dropped back for six passes in the first 25 minutes, completing 2 of 4 passes for 10 yards. He also took two sacks and had one fumble. After the Chargers jumped out to a big lead in their 32-3 win, McDaniels called on Orton to relieve Simms. If McDaniels was willing to risk further injury with Orton, why not just have him start the game?
Indianapolis (-3.5) over HOUSTON
Question: Can you lay out Colts coach Jim Caldwell’s daily routine?
I’ll take a stab at it. Wake up at 10 a.m. Drive in to the Colts practice facility. Stumble upon a film session in which Peyton Manning is yelling at his rookie receivers. Grab some breakfast in the team cafeteria. Go over Manning’s proposed game plan with the offensive coordinator. Meet with Manning for a briefing before the daily head coach’s press conference. Relay whatever Manning said to the media. Lead the team onto the practice field. Blow the whistle a few times. Head home for dinner by 5 p.m.
CINCINNATI (-14) over Cleveland
Question: After this season, who will get hired as a coordinator first — Charlie Weis or Eric Mangini?
Put it this way, if the Eagles hired Mangini to be their defensive coordinator following this season, I’d be disappointed. And bear in mind, the Eagles long-time defensive coordinator, Jim Johnson, lost his battle with cancer in July, and the Eagles didn’t really have another experienced coordinator waiting in the wings. So it’s not like they don’t have a need there. However, I’d actually be psyched if they hired Weis to run the offense next season. Weis stinks at the recruiting game at the college level. He’s unable to blow sunshine up recruits’ … rear ends. But I think he could figure out a way to get 30 points a game out of McNabb, Vick, DeSean Jackson, Jeremy Maclin, LeSean McCoy and Brent Celek next season.
MINNESOTA (-10.5) over Chicago
Question: Can we start a new tradition for Vikings’ picks?
Sure. Here’s Favre Superfan!’s comment of the week following yesterday’s blog about the Men’s Guide to Thanksgiving.
“So the meal ends at 3 p.m. and you offer to help with dishes at 6? You stole that from my manifesto “Having Fun Favre-ever.” Only a truly great guy volunteers for something 2.5 hours after it was done. Just remember to smile, hug someone, and give them that ‘aw shucks’ shrug and everyone over the age of 50 will gush over you!”
PHILADELPHIA (-9) over Washington
Question: What will it take for Andy Reid to get fired?
I’m not asking this question because Reid’s on the hot seat. This is actually a decent week for him, coming off a victory over the Bears. But I was kicking that question around on Sunday night, when the Eagles trailed the Bears midway through the fourth quarter. I received a text from a friend that said, “I feel like we’ve seen this before.” And I started to ponder the future of Andy Reid. The problem is that the owner, Jeffrey Lurie, and general manager, Joe Banner, absolutely love Reid. They always point to his five appearances in the NFC Championship Game and the seven trips to the postseason in the last nine years. They actually started up talks of extending Reid for another four years earlier this season. So I honestly think it would take a Grady Little-caliber mistake for Reid to finally get fired. Here’s the only scenario I could come up with. With his team up by two touchdowns with less than a minute to play, Reid calls for a passing play in an obvious kneel-down situation. The opposing team intercepts the pass and returns it for a touchdown. Reid calls a timeout before the extra point. The opposing team makes the extra point. Reid calls a timeout before the onside kick. The opposing team recovers the onside kick. Reid asks the refs to review the play within the last two minutes. He’s charged a timeout and the refs refuse to go to a booth review because the call is so obvious. The opposing team scores a touchdown and converts a two-point conversion. Reid stares at the field stoically.
Miami (-3) over BUFFALO
Question: Have we learned anything from Dolphins running back Ricky Williams?
Yes. If you’re considering requesting two or three years off so you can focus on smoking weed and joining a yoga group, remember that there’s a precedent for returning to your job as a better employee.
TENNESSEE (-2) over Arizona
Question: What was up with the referee who gave Titans quarterback Vince Young a high-five after a touchdown during Monday night’s win over Houston?
Go easy on the ref. It’s almost impossible to refuse a high-five when someone throws up a hand in front of you. Your instinct will tell you to deliver the high-five. It’s the equivalent of when a defensive NFL player is standing on the sideline, and the opposing quarterback throws an errant pass in his direction. Even though he’s not on the field of play, the defensive player is going to lay out for the pass if he has to, just to send a message to the opposing quarterback. It’s instinctive.
Seattle (-3) over ST. LOUIS
Question: Who’s the starting quarterback for the Rams this week?
That would be Kyle Boller. Don’t go running to your fantasy football league’s waiver wire. I’m sure he’s taken by now.
Tampa Bay (+12) over ATLANTA
Question: What’s the worst part about making picks on Wednesday?
I have no idea if Falcons running back Michael Turner will play on Sunday, and it actually makes all the difference in my pick. If the Falcons can run the ball effectively after they take a lead, they’ll cover. If not, the Bucs are in the money.
Carolina (+3) over JETS
Question: What was Jets coach Rex Ryan crying about this week?
A week after he literally cried in a team meeting, Ryan cried to reporters this week. His issue: he didn’t like the way the Patriots attempted a deep pass to Randy Moss in the closing minute of a 31-14 victory on Sunday. I’ll admit that was a little shaky on the Patriots part. The weird play call seemed to stem from Moss’ frustration over two tough outings against Darrelle Revis this fall. All the same, if Ryan is going to coach against the Patriots twice a year, he better set aside his feelings about sportsmanship.
SAN FRANCISCO (-3) over Jacksonville
Question: Since there is nothing interesting about this game, can you tell us when the NFL will start having games on Saturdays?
Later than I would have thought. The Saturday games start in Week 15 (Dec. 19).
Kansas City (+13.5) over SAN DIEGO
Question: Is Chargers running back LaDainian Tomlinson preparing for the stretch run of the season?
Yes. He’s peaking right during the final stage. Get it — final stage? Like he’s in a cycling race? Because he always rides the stationary bike during the playoffs? Next!
BALTIMORE (-2.5) over Pittsburgh
Question: What’s Steelers safety Troy Polamalu’s status for the Sunday night game?
He’s “questionable at best” according to Steelers coach Mike Tomlin. If he doesn’t play, I like the Ravens. If he does, I like the Steelers. Wednesday picks, everybody!
New England (-3) over NEW ORLEANS
Question: What will be the key in this game?
All season, whenever I read stories about the vaunted Saints defense, I think about the fact that their secondary includes a guy with gray hair and Darren Sharper. The guy with gray hair looks to be about 50. It seems like the Packers determined Sharper was too old about 10 years ago. I’ll take Pats receivers Randy Moss and Wes Welker against that secondary 10 times out of 10.
On to the Best of the Week.
Story of the Week: We had to know there would be some Bill Belichick impersonators in the weeks to follow his fourth-and-2 decision against the Colts. This week, Yale coach Tom Williams had a similar blunder in his team’s loss to Harvard. With his team leading by three points and 2:25 remaining, he decided to fake a punt on fourth-and-22 from his team’s own 25-yard-line. The play picked up 15 yards. Yale turned the ball over on downs. Harvard scored a touchdown to seal a 14-10 win. One other tidbit, Yale’s punter led the Ivy League with a 51.1 yards per punt average.
Quote of the Week: Notre Dame coach Charlie Weis delivered some doozies this week as he prepared to get fired after a 6-5 season. His comments regarding the toll the losing has taken on his family are a little easier to stomach now that we’ve learned that Notre Dame starting quarterbacks apparently get punched in the face after losses to Connecticut.
“The damage to Maura and Charlie Jr. is irreparable,” Weis said. “It’s watching me get hammered. I’ll never forgive the people who character-assassinated me without even knowing me. Those people did irreparable damage to my wife and son, and I’ll never forgive them.”
Comment of the Week: Excellent effort in the comments section following yesterday’s Thanksgiving guide. That may have been the best banter all year. KF gets the prize for coming up with some new suggestions for Thanksgiving.
“Embrace the Wednesday night out. That’s the best part – find out what ladies are packing on the beef and who all of a sudden became sneaky hot.
Opt for hard alcohol before the meal. Ideally a nice sipping drink like scotch. Don’t want to fill up on beer before the big meal. Every Thanksgiving, my brother and I have the scotch going by noontime.
Play the role, collect the plates from the table and put them in the sink. It takes 5 minutes, and makes you look good. You don’t have to wash them, leave that to others.”
Tip of the Week: If you take your girlfriend out on Thanksgiving Eve, and you run into your high school girlfriend, DO NOT introduce your ex to your new girlfriend by saying, “We used to date.” That information does not need to be shared. Just say, “This is my friend.” In fact, wait for your ex-girlfriend to introduce herself to your new girlfriend. Do not get involved in that process in any way.
Conversation Starter of the Week: Look, my only problem with KF’s previous comment is that girls are not the only ones who pack on the beef. You’ll run into just as many guys (probably more) who have added 20 pounds since the last time you saw them. When this happens, walk up to the person and say, “What’s different about you? Something has changed and I can’t put my finger on it.”
Stat of the Week: The Wednesday night before Thanksgiving is the biggest bar night of the year, according to CNN.com. In turn, there are the greatest number of DUIs on that night. Be safe tonight.
Video of the Week: Here’s a Thanksgiving-themed video.
Enjoy the holiday weekend. Happy Thanksgiving!
One Comments for “A double-dip Thanksgiving treat”
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November 25th, 2009 at 9:24 am
The Packers didn’t just give up on Sharper too early! Ron Wolf is gutless and a traitor! And the QB having the best year ever, by any player, in any sport has gray hair right now! Look out Pats WRs, the Saints secondary looks like they’re having fun!