Why not kick off a new running segment for the NFL season? This segment is called, “Belichick is peeing on our leg and telling us it’s raining.” In this segment, I will pull one Belichick quote from the previous day’s press conference. The quote will be an example of a slight exaggeration he’s spreading to motivate his players, and consequently, sell to the media.

Here are Belichick’s expectations for this week’s preseason game against the Washington Redskins: ”(We’ll work on) the silent count, for instance. We’re on the road; it’ll be loud down there (in Washington). This is a good week for us to work on the silent count. We’ll have plenty of that during the season where we’ll need to use it.”

I’m with Belichick. The Patriots should expect an absolute mob scene in D.C. for the third exhibition game.

Onto a new Joke Book.

Worried about crowd noise in the preseason

With a swarm of young linebackers vying for roster spots in Foxborough, people are starting to wonder if there is a role for Tedy Bruschi this season. I wouldn’t give up on No. 54 so quickly. God knows the folks in Foxboro could use him to replace any malfunctioning turnstile.

During an interview with Jeremy Schaap yesterday, former Giants receiver Plaxico Burress attempted to shift the blame for his recent gun charge, claiming the security at the club knew he brought a weapon into the facility. Burress did not say whether he warned the security guard that he would be shooting himself on his way up the steps.

Speaking of Burress, minutes after he was sentenced to prison last week, the Bengals tendered him a two-year offer starting in 2011.

Some Red Sox news: David Ortiz bristled at the thought of becoming an everyday No. 7 hitter last week, saying, “The back of my jersey still says Ortiz.” Someone should remind Ortiz that the back of his baseball card now says .225.

Did anyone else chuckle hearing Jonathan Papelbon dismiss the value of adding Billy Wagner to the bullpen. Next week, Papelbon will discuss the merits of adding additional seats down the third base line at Fenway. The following week, he’ll settle the health care debate.

Terry Francona has made no bones about the fact that he’d prefer to have Jason Varitek catch Josh Beckett and Jon Lester for the remainder of the season. Now we can include the 2009 Red Sox season on the list of things Varitek has singlehandedly killed this decade along with the flat top and the goatee.

Shaquille O’Neal recently admitted he stole the idea for his reality show, “Shaq Vs.” from former teammate Steve Nash. Credit Nash with one final assist to O’Neal.

I’m waiting for Disney to offer Usain Bolt $10 million to try bobsledding at the 2010 Olympics this winter. I’d think Disney will see a strong return on its investment with the reality movie, “Cool Runnings 2: Russians can’t run like this.”

If you’re thinking of a late-round draft pick who might help your fantasy team in the postseason, go with LaDainian Tomlinson’s bike. That thing finishes every season strong.

Tony Dungy recently reprimanded Mike Vick for drinking a vodka drink in a Philadelphia hotel while he is awaiting word from NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell regarding his permanent reinstatement. Dungy feels Vick should stay away from alcohol in public settings. Football fans everywhere wish Vick would stop drinking cocktails with umbrellas.

Vikings coach Brad Childress said yesterday he would play Brett Favre for at least one half of the next exhibition game against the Texans. Credit Childress for identifying early that he will get nothing of value from Favre in the second half.

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