Patriots fans may be wondering what to do with themselves during their team’s bye week. If you ask me, you should do the same thing your favorite team will be doing — preparing for the stretch run. Use this week to cleanse your fantasy football team’s roster of all underachievers. I can’t recommend this strongly enough. It feels great. If you drafted a player in the second or third round, and he hasn’t scored a touchdown in weeks, take him out of your starting lineup and place him on the waiver wire. Don’t bench him. Cut him. Otherwise, you’ll put yourself through the weekly aggravation of having the following debate in your head: “Man, Steve Smith has been brutal this year. I shouldn’t start him, but I drafted him in the second round. I can’t just waste a high pick like that. I have to give him another chance.” No, you don’t. You have to cut him. Go ahead and do it, and let me know how it feels. I guarantee the moment you pull the trigger on the move, a huge smile will spread across your face.

Since you’ll likely be looking for non-Patriots games to watch this weekend, I’ll give you a rundown in the process of making my weekly picks below.

Last week’s record: 6-6-1

Overall record: 50-52-1

Home teams are in caps.

Broncos (+3.5) over RAVENS

Question of the Game: Can you find out how many times Denver has been favored this season?

Sure. I’ll do that for you … (Looking back one week at a time) … Despite the Broncos’ 6-0 record, they’ve only been favored twice all season. In Week 6, the Chargers were four-point favorites over the Broncos. In Week 5, the Patriots were three-point favorites over the Broncos. In Week 4, the Cowboys were three-point favorites over the Broncos. In Week 3, the Broncos were only 1.5-point favorites over Oakland. In Week 2, the Broncos were three-point favorites over the Browns. And in Week 1, the Bengals were four-point favorites over the Broncos. Let’s learn our lesson together and take the Broncos this week. Not only are they 6-0 this season, they’re 6-0 against the spread.

BEARS (-13.5) over Browns

Question: How many points would the Bears have to be giving for you to take the Browns?

I’m going to be conservative and say 27.5. Over the last three weeks, Browns quarterback Derek Anderson has completed 23 of 70 passes for 244 yards with one touchdown, three interceptions and four fumbles. Typically, you can get a good measure of how a team will fare based on its coach and quarterback. If a team has a top-10 coach and a top-10 quarterback, chances are it’s a playoff team. The Browns may have the worst coach in the NFL and the worst quarterback. The Raiders are close. The Buccaneers are right there. But I think the Browns rank worst among all NFL teams on the coach-quarterback rating system. One of these days, I might even rate the NFL coaches and quarterbacks from one to 32 and provide a “power rankings” of my own.

BILLS (+3.5) over TEXANS

Question: What’s the weather going to be like in Buffalo on Sunday?

That was the biggest factor in making this pick considering the Texans are a typical warm-weather team that wants to run up the score and throw the ball around the field. It’s going to be 50 degrees and rainy with 20 mile-per-hour winds in Buffalo on Sunday. If you’ve never seen Matt Schaub’s noodle arm come out in bad weather, tune in to this game.

Minnesota (+3) over GREEN BAY

Question: Did everyone see Brett Favre save himself rather than make a tackle attempt during the Vikings’ loss to the Steelers last week?

If not, here’s a video of Favre’s feet-first slide– which was only effective if he was trying to take himself out of the play — during Keyaron Fox’s interception return for a touchdown. If you’re looking for me to rip Favre for a move that appeared to lack courage, you came to the wrong place. If nothing else, Favre’s teammates will appreciate that The Gunslinger put himself before the team and thought about the long-term impact his tackle attempt could have on society. What if the 40-year-old man who plays like a kid got injured? Favre must have figured, “We’ll take this loss, but I’ll be back next week with my love for the game and infectious smile. I just have fun. I’m good for the game and good for sports in general. And when the defense is running interception returns at me, I stop having fun for a minute. But I preserve myself for the good of our country — and, in particular, all of the people out there who love watching me play.”

COLTS (-12.5) over 49ers

Question: Does anyone still dislike Peyton Manning?

I don’t believe so. Back in 2004 or 2005, one of my buddies — a Patriots fan — once had the Brady vs. Manning argument so loud on the deck of a beach house that he received a noise citation and $250 fine from the police later that night. He’s a Peyton Manning fan now. My brother — a University of Florida alum who hates all things Tennessee — almost strictly enjoys flashy players who boast about the numbers they put up. He was a huge Terrell Owens guy when he was in Philly. He loves Pedro Martinez. Loves players who make guarantees before big games. Loved Chad Ochocinco at one time. Peyton Manning is the opposite of the type of player he usually likes. And now he likes Peyton Manning. I don’t think all those commercials wore us down, Peyton. They let us into your heart, and we liked what we saw.

JETS (-3) over Miami

Question: Are you sure Tony Sparano is a good coach?

Maybe not. I was completely sold on Sparano last year when he was hand-picked by Parcells, and he led the Dolphins to a 10-win improvement from the 2007 season. I loved that he bucked the system and installed the Wildcat offense. I loved that his team simplified the game by cutting down on penalties and turnovers. His mistake-free style of coaching seemed to lend itself to winning in the NFL. But then he made the bonehead coaching move of the season last week in the Dolphins’ loss to the Saints. With the Dolphins leading 24-3 and less than 10 seconds remaining in the first half, Drew Brees appeared to connect with Marcus Colston for a touchdown pass. The refs reviewed the play and ruled that Colston’s knee was down on the 1-yard-line. The ref announced that the clock would resume running the moment the ball was spotted. Out of timeouts, the Saints rushed their kicking team on the field so that they could get off an 18-year field goal attempt in the 10-second window before the half. Sparano inexpicably called a timeout with four seconds remaining — possibly in an attempt to ice the Saints kicker before his 18-yard attempt. Brees went to the sideline and convinced Sean Payton to let him go for it. He punched it in himself from a yard out. The Dolphins lead was cut to two scores (24-10) at the half. The Dolphins had no chance from that point forward.

LIONS (-4) over Rams

Question: Will anyone read this breakdown, or will everyone just skip to the next game?

Let’s find out. The 6-0 Lions are a sure-thing to advance to their fourth straight Super Bowl. I had a chance to catch up with veteran coach Wayne Fontes this week, and this is what he said: “Dan, no one will even read this paragraph. You should just move on to the next game.” That’s horse (bleep), Fontes. Who isn’t stoked for the views of downtown Detroit from the MetLife blimp?

COWBOYS (-9.5) over Seahawks

Question: If you could take back anything you’ve written this entire year, what would it be?

That would actually be another worthwhile blog if I had some time to do the research because I’ve made some outlandish claims over the past 10 months. Hey, when you’re writing 1,000 words a day five days a week for a year, you don’t have time to let things play out. Let’s say I write a blog tomorrow that said, “I’m not sure what to think of the Patriots. Get back to me in eight weeks.” You wouldn’t read the next day. So I’ve made some bad predictions. One that jumps out at me is when I said — three weeks ago — that no player other than Peyton Manning was as valuable to his team as Matt Hasselbeck. Meanwhile, the Seahawks have been brutal since Hasselbeck returned from injury a few weeks ago. As Belichick would say, “I’m sure everyone had a few plays on Sunday that they’d like to have back.”

Oakland (+16.5) over SAN DIEGO

Question: What’s the funniest story you’ve read about JaMarcus Russell this season?

Man, there have been some good ones. I like that he keeps failing weigh-ins, causing him to get fined by the team, and yet he hasn’t lost a pound all season. I like that he falls asleep at game-plan installation meetings. The thought of that is just hilarious — an offensive coordinator is busy giving Russell specific instructions for combatting that week’s opponent, and he’s snoring in the front row like a backup rookie offensive guard. But here’s the funniest story I’ve read about Russell all season. Before the Raiders played the Giants at the Meadowlands in Week 5, both teams went through their pregame routines on the field. Eli Manning, a former No. 1 pick, and David Carr, a former No. 1 pick, went through their warmup routines on the Giants’ end. That included intense stretching exercises, running drills and then passing drills. Finally, the two took turns throwing every pass in the playbook to receivers as they ran routes at full speed. Supposedly, between the two of them, they threw over 100 pregame passes. All of them at game speed. All of them to receivers. On the other side of the field, JaMarcus Russell played catch with one of his buddies, who stood approximately five yards away from him. They did that for about 10 minutes and headed back to the locker room. I’m with Russell. Why throw out your arm in the pregame drills? Save it for the game, Eli.

Jaguars (+3) over Titans

Question: Did anyone in Vegas see the Titans-Patriots game?

Evidently not. The Titans quit in that game, and nothing has happened since to lead me to believe the Titans will be any better this week. Since the 59-0 drubbing at Foxboro, the Titans coach has worn an interdivision rival’s jersey in public. The coach has also kicked around the idea of switching quarterbacks — going with the most unstable member of his team to guide the rest of the players in a difficult time. The players had a week of vacation to “get away from football.” The Titans are done. Their quarterback-coach rating has dropped at least 30 points since the start of the season.

ARIZONA (-10) over Panthers

Question: You were talking about the Panthers’ Steve Smith when you mentioned failed second-round fantasy football draft picks, right?

Yes.

Giants (pick) over EAGLES

Sunday has a chance to be an unbelievable day in Philadelphia. The Eagles have a chance to take the lead in the NFC East with a victory over the Giants at 1 p.m. Later that evening, the Phillies host Game 4 of the World Series, with an outside chance of clinching the series in the event of a sweep. If the Eagles and Phillies win on Sunday, please don’t expect a blog post on Monday any time before noon. So why am I picking against the Eagles on this potentially legendary day? Because Brian Westbrook is going to be out with a concussion, and his backup, LeSean McCoy, is awful in pass protection. The Redskins exposed that weakness on Monday night, and the Eagles couldn’t sustain any drives. Westbrook won’t be back from a Grade 3 concussion on five days rest, so expect more of the same against a solid Giants defensive front.

Pedro Martinez (pick) over Yankee Stadium

Question: Can you give me a prediction for Pedro’s line tonight in Game 2?

I’m going to say 6 innings pitched, 3 earned runs, 6 hits, 0 walks, 8 strike outs, and of course, one hit batsman. And most importantly, he’ll pick up the win.

Saints (-10) over Falcons

Question: Are the Falcons the dividing line between good teams and crappy teams?

Yeah, it looks like it. The Falcons beat Miami, Carolina, San Francisco and Chicago. They got smoked by Dallas and New England. They can’t stop good offenses. The Saints always cover.

5 Comments for “Not taking a bye from the NFL picks”

1. JaMarcusTheMerciful Says:
   October 29th, 2009 at 9:46 am

   You’ve got me all wrong Dan! I’m taking the Boston Celtics new approach to preparation: sleep through team meetings, practice, warm-ups, and even the first half of a game so that I’m prepared and focused when it’s crunch time! Please don’t EVER doubt my work ethic again.

   Oakland 88 San Fran 3

   Quote the Russell, nevermore.

2. TheGravy Says:
   October 29th, 2009 at 12:32 pm

   The question then becomes, Dan, which batsman is Pedro going to hit? Jeter is the obvious favorite here, but I’m really rooting for Nick Swisher to win this one. He likes the Kings of Leon and his face is round. The man is clearly a pervert.

3. Because I Can Says:
   October 29th, 2009 at 2:33 pm

   During the 7th inning stretch Swisher and Brett Myers should see who can drink 12 beers the fastest.

4. Mrs. Brett Myers Says:
   October 29th, 2009 at 3:32 pm

   I’d prefer if my husband didn’t drink 12 beers in rapid succession. It makes him emotional.

5. TheGravy Says:
   October 29th, 2009 at 3:39 pm

   Dan is overcome with Phillies fever, too.

   http://www.philly.com/philly/sports/phillies/66794027.html

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