We have a lot to cover after the final NFL football-free weekend for more than five months. For one, the Patriots traded one of their best defensive players on Sunday and got nothing in return that will help them this season or next. Second, we have two days until the official start of the NFL season, so I need to lay down some Super Bowl predictions in a hurry. And finally, I have the results of my family’s annual Guttenplans vs. Non-Guttenplans wiffle ball game. So again, I will break down the huge Seymour trade in my lead. I will then transition to a bunch of things I think about the NFL season. And then I will get really personal and talk about a wiffle ball game that has little or zero relevance for anyone outside of my family and friends. So now that I’ve officially set the tone for a Peter King parody column, let’s just roll with the Tuesday Morning Quarterback.

Not going to Oakland

The Seymour trade is certainly a sticky subject in New England, where it would be virtually impossible for Belichick to do anything to enrage the fan base. The Patriots lead man could literally force his team to accept a forfeit at its opener on Monday night and justify it by saying he didn’t want his players to feel the pressure of another undefeated season, and Patriots fans would just nod their heads in agreement. So Belichick won’t have to sugarcoat this trade for an angry legion of Pats fans. When he says giving up Seymour is in the best interest of the team, everyone believes him.

There’s no question the Patriots received adequate value for Seymour. The Raiders traded what will likely be a top-five pick in 2011 for a pretty good player in the last year of his contract. If you have read the reports that Seymour is kicking around the idea of not reporting to Oakland at all, then it makes zero sense for the Raiders to trade a first-round pick for a defensive end who is unfamiliar with the system and will absolutely leave when given the opportunity following this season. But that’s what makes them the Raiders.

Seymour was available on the trade market because he and the Patriots had no intention of getting together for a free agent contract following this season. Seymour’s money is earmarked for Logan Mankins and Vince Wilfork, so this week is probably the last time the Patriots could even consider getting anything other than a compensatory pick for the three-time Super Bowl champion. What is Seymour’s value on the trade market? Considering Julius Peppers wasn’t worth a first-round pick last summer, and Seymour is far less reliable (read: more injury prone) than Peppers, Seymour was probably worth a second- or third-round pick from any team not based in Oakland.

The bottom line is Belichick received plenty of long-term value in the trade. That’s how he’s programmed to evaluate trade talks, so it was a no-brainer for him. But will the trade decrease the team’s chances of winning a Super Bowl this season? I think it will. Seymour is no longer the player he was in 2001-2003 before he started suffering injuries on an annual basis. In those days, he played nose tackle and defensive end in the 3-4 defense better than anyone in the world. He could generate pressure when the situation called for it. He’d always hold his ground against the run. And regardless of the offensive lineman matched up against him, he would never get turned around or pancaked, which is extremely valuable in the Patriots scheme. Over the last few years, the huge plays like blocked field goals and game-changing sacks dwindled. The injuries increased. Now Seymour is an above-average defensive lineman in a 3-4 defense — he’ll probably be better with less responsibility in a 4-3 — but he’s definitely someone who spends a few plays each game with his back facing the line of scrimmage.

The major issue for the Patriots is that their defense wasn’t great before the trade, and it got a little worse as of Sunday morning. Their defensive line is their strength even after losing Seymour — and he wasn’t going to play 16 games during a contract season anyway. Without Seymour, they need huge seasons out of Ty Warren, Vince Wilfork and Jarvis Green, otherwise their secondary is going to get eaten alive. And that may happen anyway. They have two All-Pro level linebackers in Adalius Thomas and Jerod Mayo, and the rest are JV-quality. They haven’t replaced Rodney Harrison or Ellis Hobbs — both of whom gave up big plays in coverage in recent years but would also occasionally give back with big plays in the secondary. Brandon Meriweather doesn’t have many of those in his portfolio quite yet. So pray for Leigh Bodden and Jonathan Wilhite manning the corners this season. Their job certainly didn’t get any easier on Sunday.

A Few Things I Think I Think

1. I think Richard Seymour will play fewer than eight games in the 2009 season. Seymour has played under Belichick for the last eight seasons, and now he’s going to play for a coach who cold-cocks his assistants. He’s played for a winning team his entire career, and now he’s playing for a three-win team at best. Seymour never liked playing 16 games when he was in a great situation, he won’t want to play eight in Oakland.

A flying bus

2. I think the Eagles are going to drop about four games they shouldn’t this season. This preseason was somewhat of a disaster for the Birds. First, one of the top defensive coordinators in league history, Jim Johnson, lost his fight against cancer in July. Then one of the five best middle linebackers in the league, Stewart Bradley, tore his ACL during the opening week of preseason. Then they signed Vick, who looked shaky in the preseason. Then McNabb started getting annoyed by all the Vick attention. Andy Reid had a few more bonehead coaching moments for the highlight real. It seems like the disorganization of last year has carried over.

3. I think Southwest is the best airline. This airline treats you the right way. I showed up to the Philadelphia airport yesterday morning at 9:45 a.m. I was jonesing in a bad way for a little Starbucks coffee. I saw the lone barista stroll out for a cigarette break at 9:47 a.m. She hadn’t returned to the counter by 9:54 a.m. At this point, my blood pressure was boiling when I spotted her out of the corner of my eye. I asked, “Miss, what could possibly take seven minutes to do?” She blew smoke in my face. I tackled her to the floor. Finally, a Southwest flight attendant popped behind the counter and served my triple grande mocha latte with six pounds of whipped cream. God bless America.

Enjoyable/Aggravating Travel Note of the Week: When I settled into Seat 14C on Southwest Flight 915, I immediately realized I sat behind someone with an awful hangover. It smelled like a twist between sour sausage and Pabst Blue Ribbon. I spent the 64-minute flight from Philadelphia to Manchester listening to the young man in front of me emptying his stomach. I hate America.

Coffeenerdness: Manchester Airport is one of a kind. Did you know that at the Dunkin’ Donuts in Terminal B, they’ll let you take an entire pot of coffee and dump it on your face? Yeah. It happened on Saturday at 7:14 a.m. I turned the coffee pot upside down right over my head with my mouth wide-open, and I didn’t spill a drip on my shirt. Then I finished it off with a half bottle of whipped cream. Thank you, and good night.

A Few Non-Football Thoughts

1. Has anyone else seen the new HBO drama Entourage? It must be brand-new. I saw it for the first time on Sunday. Smart, funny, clever, action-packed and totally Hollywood. That Vincent Chase is a real lady’s man.

2. If there is a funnier comedian alive than James Alexander, my real name is George Constanza. Great job, Georgie.

3. I’m not just saying it because I work for NBC, but the Sunday night football show will be an absolute must-watch this season. Check me out from 8:15-8:16 p.m. for King’s Minute.

4. Took one final walk around Colgate’s beautiful campus on Sunday. My daughter hasn’t been there in four years, so I was catching a lot of strange looks from the incoming freshman. One kid even called me “creepy”. Well, if creepy is walking around your daughter’s college campus in the middle of nowhere 48 months after she graduated, then I’m Al Davis.

5. Went to the doctor for a routine checkup the other day. Let’s just say I have a hernia. Pain. More pain. Embarrassment. Check out my personal blog for more info.

Wiffle Ball Game Update

Not even the 1927 Yankees or Mary Beth King’s 2004 Montclair High softball team went undefeated, and like all great teams, the Guttenplans’ run had to eventually end. That happened on Saturday. We lost, 10-1, and it was never really close. The Non-Guttenplans jumped out to a 7-0 lead through three innings and never looked back.

I’d love to assign blame, but my brother went ahead and did that for me for about three hours following the game. He took it like a champ like any great pitcher of record would. Next year, we’ll get him a jersey with Parkman on the back. “I’m the only winner on the team. The rest of ‘em are losers, either by choice or by birth.” Not much more to rehash other than we all played like crap. But one thing is certain: The Guttenplans are a resilient bunch. One win does not make a champion. The series now stands at four wins for the Guttenplans, one win for the Non-Guttenplans and one tie. We’ll be back next year.

11 Comments for “Seymour kicks off TMQB”

1. Turbo Says:
   September 8th, 2009 at 2:03 pm

   Interesting the “Wiffle Ball Game Update” section was two small paragraphs at the bottom of today’s post.

   “Either way, expect a column on Monday about how the Guttenplans stretched their undefeated winning streak to six seasons”

   Expectations run a muck!!

2. KD Says:
   September 8th, 2009 at 3:00 pm

   Has my home run landed yet?

   “Here’s BJ – doing his little shimmy. He makes the women here in Old New Castle puke”

3. Primo Deano Says:
   September 8th, 2009 at 5:01 pm

   4 – 1 – 1

   …and i’m not talkin’ directory assistance.

4. Because I Can Says:
   September 9th, 2009 at 8:10 am

   Batter up! Hear that call!
   The time has come for one and all
   To play ball.
   We come from cities near and far.
   We’ve got Canadians, Irishmen and Swedes,
   We’re all for one, we’re one for all
   We’re All-Guttenplans!

5. TheGravy Says:
   September 9th, 2009 at 3:54 pm

   Not surprised you lost… there is a lack of Gravy in your family bloodline apparently.

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