NFL fans got their first taste of life without football yesterday. The weekly Sunday excuse that saves so many fans from attending apple-picking excursions, romantic-comedies, and communions is one week from expiring.

If you’re like me, and you spent yesterday afternoon wondering if Sunday Fun-days are still acceptable during baseball season, this isn’t good news. Regardless, we have one more weekend of buffalo wings, bleu cheese dressing, and awkward fist bumps. If you’re still deciding your plans for Super Bowl XLIII, here are a few things to consider.

Have a seat, folks.

Location: As a Philadelphia sports fan without DirectTV, I venture down to the local sports bar to watch the Eagles play most Sundays. Nine times out of 10, I don’t mind. The only time it stinks is when the bar is packed, I can’t get a table, it’s too loud to hear the audio, the Eagles lose to a lesser opponent, and then I get a bill for $50.

You can almost bet every bar is going to be packed on Super Bowl Sunday. And there’s really no reason to battle the crowds since the game’s televised. Find a house-party, and secure a spot on the couch early. If you miss your local bar, ask someone to stand in front of the TV during the second half.

Food: Perhaps the most important aspect of any Super Bowl party, food is the best tie-breaker if you have invitations to multiple parties. Wings and Mexican dip are the two essentials. Then hosts typically serve Super Bowl-themed meals depending on which teams are playing. So if the Patriots are playing, for instance, one might serve clam chowder, baked beans, and Boston cream pies. Pittsburgh delicacies include Iron City Beer, Heinz Ketchup, and Klondike Bars. Arizona is famous for salsa, avocado, chili, and a crappy NFL team. Yes, I’m still bitter about the NFC Championship.

The teams: The Pittsburgh Steelers have won the Super Bowl five times – tied with the Dallas Cowboys and San Francisco 49ers for tops all-time. Still, Patriots fans don’t despise the Steelers as much as the Colts or Chargers because the Steelers haven’t caused the Patriots many problems during the Bill Belichick era. The Pats beat the Steelers in the AFC Championship Game in 2001 and 2004. If you’re looking for a reason to cheer against the Steelers, they dealt the Pats their fifth loss this season, effectively knocking them out of the playoffs.

Larry Fitzgerald is a playoff hero.

The Cardinals have no history and really shouldn’t be playing in this game. Jake Plummer might be the most recognizable Cardinals player ever, and he was terrific if you’re a fan of 7-9 seasons. This year’s Cardinals went 6-0 in interdivision games against the lowly NFC West and 3-7 against the rest of the league. In the postseason, wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald morphed into a combination of Jerry Rice and Christian Okoye, and the rest of the NFC failed to take notice. No quarterback has ever been blessed with better supporting casts than Kurt Warner. In St. Louis, he had Marshall Faulk in his prime and two of the best receivers in the league in Isaac Bruce and Torry Holt. Now he has Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin, both of whom rival Bruce and Holt as the top receiving tandem in the last 10 years.

The bets: As of yesterday, the Steelers were favored by seven points and the over/under was set at 46.5. I can’t imagine too many people loving the Cardinals, so the tease will be a popular bet this weekend. I like the the Steelers-under tease, which would make the Steelers one-point favorites and the over-under 52.5. But that’s irrelevant considering I stopped betting in 2006, when watching NFL games started to feel like pay-per-view specials for me. If you’re losing all your bets, you can’t use the excuse, “It just makes it more fun to watch a game if I have a rooting interest.” What you really mean is, “I’d rather pay $50 to watch this game even though it’s on basic cable.”

Prop bets: The Super Bowl is the biggest gambling day of the year, so if you’re up money on the season, this is the final chance to blow it. Sports books scramble to find ways to reclaim their money, so you can bet on things like: Which team will score first? Which player will score first? Over-under on individual player’s rushing yards … Length (in seconds) of the Star-Spangled Banner … Which songs will Bruce Springsteen perform at halftime?

I'll take tails for $50.

I guess a wager’s a wager. Who am I to judge which wager seems more desperate than the next? But I never understood betting on the coin toss. What information are you using to arrive at that wager? I remember watching the Super Bowl a couple years ago, and one of my friends started celebrating five minutes before kickoff in front of a room packed with people. Someone asked why he was so excited, and he shared the news that he won his kickoff wager. I don’t think I’ve ever seen his girlfriend look so disappointed. Regardless, if you’re going to stoop to the coin toss bet, tails never fails.

The jersey: Back when the Eagles would lose in NFC Championship games, and I’d have high hopes for the following season, I’d wear an Eagles jersey to my Super Bowl party. Those days are over. The Eagles are no longer a conversation-starter for me, because those conversations end up being painful. Someone trying to be a good friend inevitably says, “The Eagles should be in this game, they’re better than the Cardinals.” Actually, no. This isn’t college football with BCS rankings. The Eagles played the Cardinals two weeks ago, and they were down 24-6 at halftime. Now does anyone want to talk about the economy?

So hold off on showing up in a Patriots jersey on Sunday. Yes, the Patriots beat the Cardinals by 100 points in the regular season, but so did the Eagles. The Patriots have been on the positive end of a lot of lucky bounces over the years, so let’s give the Steelers and Cardinals their due. Unless you’re sporting a Steelers or Cardinals jersey on Sunday, you should probably stick to a regular shirt. You wouldn’t wear a New York Knicks jersey during the NBA Finals, so you shouldn’t wear an NFL jersey during the Super Bowl unless your favorite team is playing.

10 Comments for “Viewing guide to the Super Bowl”

1. The Gravy Says:
   January 26th, 2009 at 4:23 pm

   Jaded that their hometown team is no longer an annual contender, millions of Pats fan’s watch the big game in their brand new Steelers’ jerseys.

2. T. Flaherty Says:
   January 27th, 2009 at 7:33 pm

   Jake the Mistake as the most recognizable Cardinal? What happened to Pat Tillman? And I’d addend your definition of iconic Pittsburgh food: Iron City beer, Pierogies, and Primanti Brothers Sandwiches.

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5. Jere Says:
   January 29th, 2009 at 3:03 pm

   I guess betting on the coin flip is no different than betting black or red in roulette. I agree, though, tails all the way. 50 percent of the time, it never fails.

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