A few thoughts as I consider why Rodney Harrison decided to choose NBC over HGH …

Rodney was always on time.

I think we can all agree that Harrison was a great Patriot. He played hurt. He was at his best in the biggest games. He masked many of his weaknesses through will-power and toughness. And he consistently led the league in head-first dives into piles. Best wishes, Rodney.

I think Harrison’s move to the NBC studios begins to answer the question as to what the network has in store for Tiki Barber. There’s no word if Harrison will fill Barber’s seat on the Sunday night football show, or if the network will simply put a vase full of his flowers in Barber’s spot. Either way, we’re guaranteed improvement.

Red Sox manager Terry Francona moved Jacoby Ellsbury from the leadoff spot to the No. 8 hole last evening after the speedster drew a total of 11 walks through the first two months of the season. Francona may not be done tweaking the lineup. With Ortiz batting sixth and Ellsbury batting eighth, the manager still needs to find a seventh hitter who loves hitting with the bases empty and hates making it all the way home.

Derrick Rose, the first-pick in the 2008 NBA Draft, has been in hot water recently for allegedly hiring a body double to take his SATs in high school so that he’d be eligible to play at Memphis University. What’s next? Are you going to try to tell me a USC football player got paid in college? I call B.S.

How could he?

I don’t know about you, but I’m thoroughly enjoying the return of Tom Brady. One day, we get a story about how Tom reported to a voluntary minicamp. The next day, we get 800 words on Tom stretching with teammates. By mid-week, we get a report on Tom throwing overhand passes. And then we cap the week with a report on Tom throwing on the run. My only question is: How did I miss the story about Tom cutting the cheese during his first team meeting? Give us full disclosure, Patriots beat writers.

Did anyone catch Tedy Bruschi’s interview yesterday, in which he said he missed former teammates Mike Vrabel and Rodney Harrison? I have a solution for Bruschi. Go visit your friends, and leave an orange cone in the middle of the Patriots’ defense. No one will even notice.

Kobe Bryant ensured he would make his second straight NBA finals appearance by leading his team to a victory over the Denver Nuggets in the Western Conference finals. So if you’re scoring at home, it’s Kobe 2, Colorado 0.

Dr. Daniel Amen recently attributed Lamar Odom’s inconsistent play to his sweet tooth for a story in the L.A. Times. A pretty interesting story, but I’m wondering why the Times reporter never asked Amen to speculate on the effects of taking bong hits for an entire NBA career.

Lebron James was spotted in Las Vegas on Sunday evening following the Cavs’ elimination from the NBA playoffs. He reportedly lost $5,000 on the blackjack table, refused to tip the dealer, and went back to his room and cried.

It’s time for a mea culpa. I admit — I completely botched my evaluation of this year’s Orlando Magic. Lesson learned. Now I know it is actually possible for a team to advance to the NBA finals with a best player who has zero low post moves and a coach who would rather rip his best player than pat him on the back. By the way, I’m going with the Lakers in six. And I’m taking the Pat Riley-led Orlando Magic in 2010.

2 Comments for “Harrison’s retirement prompts a joke book”

1. Primo Deano Says:
   June 3rd, 2009 at 4:10 pm

   Game 6: Kobe did the Nuggets like a star-struck hotel employee. I hate that guy. GO MAGIC!

2. TheGravy Says:
   June 8th, 2009 at 11:14 am

   @Primo Deano: That is AWWWWESOME…

   …that’s what she said.

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